The boy was sleeping
on her couch when she returned
She stared intently, somewhat apprehensive
as she removed her coat and approached
Leaning over, she sniffed,
smelling him
like a dog or cat might identify their own child

Seeing it unfold on the screen
recalled how I would sometimes lay beside Sean
watch him sleep
breathing in his smell
with an occasional kiss to the back of his head
as though I wanted him to know
he was well kept in the darkness.

Perhaps it was equally as selfish, though,
seeing him vulnerable and reliant
a synthesis of his mom and myself
a deep inhale reaffirming
the source of fusion between us
binding us together
compelling me to protect
to care

Even as she didn’t want to love her child
wanted to forget and run
I knew she couldn’t, not anymore
not once she knew him beyond sight and reason
to breathe deeply of him and know that he was hers

All attempts to deny, to hide, to slip away
they all dissipated
and although her many flaws would continue to show
and harass her infinitely
she would never again be able to separate or abandon.

(Inspired by a scene from the indie movie “Trucker” )

(Written by Bob Devine.  This work is freely shared and not for sale.)